Today's Realizations

So today I realized two things.

1. I should have gone to see The Dark Knight sooner!

That was soo good! Ugh. Man! Heath Ledger was amazing in it. And I basically freaked out when Harvey's face started burning. I was like, "Oh my god! He's Two Face!" Haha.


2. I'm basically a friend girl.

I also realized today that I'm just the type of girl who guys just want to be friends with, but not necessarily date. I went to the movies and sat between John, who came with his girlfriend, and Ethan who brought his exgirlfriend among other people.

I look to my left and here is John. This guy has told me multiple times that he loves me, but I'm just not worth breaking up with his girlfriend for. Well, he did once only to raise my hopes and then crush them the next day by getting back together with her.

And I look to my right and there is Ethan. He and I are in our musical together and talk constantly. He's one of my closest friends. He tells me all of his problems that he has with his ex (but somehow they're still friends?!) and I listen and give him advice. So he'd rather sit there and flirt with her through the whole movie while I'm sitting there like, "Ugh. I NEED a boyfriend."

Then I get home and Jake calls me. He and I are finally friends after being broken up since January (we dated for fifteen months) and he wants to talk about how strangely his relationship is going (his girlfriend by the way hates me). Talking about them fooling around, having fights, him loving her, and spending the night with her... As he's talking there's this feeling in the pit of my stomach. I'm like, "Gah. I know I'm over you, but I'm not really sure if I wanna hear all this." But it's cool. I'm glad he feels like he can tell me stuff. I like helping him out. We ended up talking for over two hours. Jake and I just get along that well.

All I attract nowadays are jerks who just wanna get in my pants. Bleh. I'm trying not to associate myself with guys like that. And it's working, too. Now it's either decent guys or no guys. Leaning towards no guys... :/

Except for Jonathan. He and I dated for like a month a while ago, but I broke up with him cause I wasn't over Jake and Jon is like a year and two months younger than me. We still talk. All day, every day. I sometimes wonder if I made the right decision. Cause I think I may still really like him. I'm just really confused about him. It's crazy.



I just want someone to make happy, you know?